dada, "Cave Formations," and Lizzie McGuire

Praise be to Jah, the Music Jerk is back with another post! (I've been listening to a lot of dub lately. You know King Tubby, King Jammy, ect. Maybe that explains the use of "Jah." Maybe...)

Finding myself watching MTV I saw a video for a song called "Paralyzed" by Rock Kills Kid. After hearing it I was sure they'd be as big as Bloc Party with the same kind of fans. Although if they're on MTV, I'd imagine that they already are that big. Anyway, good song, go look.

Okay, so Panic! At The Disco. Seriously is there any band on top 40 radio right now that has a more infectious hook?! This isn't a joke or anything, I'm serious. That God forsaken song "I Write Sins Not Tradgedies" is sooooo ridiculous. It won't get out of your head! Maybe it's because he says the line "I chimed in with haven't you people ever heard of closing the God damned door?" like three hundred fourty-seven times in two and a half minutes. Anyway, infectious doesn't always equal good but it might this time. Plus their other single has a great little dance-y keyboard breakdown and it's nice to hear that again on top 40 radio. And if you don't agree with that, you're an idiot who needs to go buy a Duran Duran album (preferrably "Rio") that or you're from the south.

So does Yung Joc have an invisible motor cycle? Is that what that dance is?

After listening to a few dada sound poems the other day I came to the conclusion that they are the musical equal to a roller coaster. Well maybe first I should explain what they are. A bunch of dada artists from way back in the day (as early as 1930) recorded these so called sound poems. They're basically just gibberish and odd vocal sounds - they were attempting to break down language. Anyway, they're worth searching out (Sub Rosa Records) or downloading just for the artistic and historical merit alone even if you don't like them. To understand the roller coaster comparaison I suggest "Olseautal" by Raoul Hausmann. The best (and possibly my theme song) is "Ursonate" by Kurt Schwitters.

Speaking of theme songs, if mine isn't "Ursonate" it is DEFINITELY "Cave Formations" by Quintron (although his wife, Miss Pussycat, does all the vocals on this track.) This is a glorious song. First off, at times lyrically it's absurd, focusing (sort of) on stalagmites, spulunking (look at me butcher that word!) and caves. But it branches off into seemingly disjointed things, at least to me. And although her voice is damn near perfect on the track, it's not the vocals that make it. The music is very minimal using only a single drum beat, a hand clap and a sprinkling of keyboard when needed and during the hook. Quintron has the ablility to put out some pure crap however he can make some gems too. This is definitely the brightest of all of them. "54 degrees, double time."

Okay, so one more time with theme songs. I introduced my pale potato-eating brother, Irish, to a little known song called "Flamboyant" by the Pet Shop Boys. Wanting a copy of "West End Girls" on disc late last year/early this year I bought a two disc best of type dealie by the band called "Pop Art." It's excatly like you would expect it to be given the Pet Shop Boys' reputation and sound, it was music to have a gay dance party to. The highlights on the disc were obviously "West End Girls" and this song that I had never heard called "Flamboyant," which instantly became my favorite 80s song. Hell the first time I heard it I couldn't help myself and I ended up listening to it like seven times in a row at least. Anyway, Irish flipped for it as I did and decided that it was his theme song. We both were truly dissapointed (after writing "truly dissapointed" I had Morrissey in my head singing me that phrase) that this song wasn't a hit or at least a little bigger back in the day. After doing some research we found out that the song was released in 2003 for that best of type disc. Whoa. We flipped. We became even more angry that such an amazing song is relegated to complete obscurity. Not many people are going to buy a two-disc best of import by the Pet Shop Boys. Some of the best lyrics in the last couple of years and musically it has a small bit of a darkwave feel to it (much like "West End Girls" but a bit more) with dance sensabilities and vocals that can be haunting but fit wonderfully. This is the song you want to listen to at night, in a big city, in your car, rolling to the club. This is a MUST download.

So I really like The Locust, I mean really really. Many people say everything they do sounds the same. First off, if you believe that you need to realize that your ears suck. That or you're just not listening. That needed to be said. Not talking about the combined geniuses of the members of the band and their other current and past projects, they have really covered the entire spectrum of "extreme" music. They're the only band I know of that did a cover of an old, loved power-violence band (Crossed Out) and a Queen cover. Anyway, to get past the muck of music, rumor, "scene" horseshit and merchandise that follow The Locust, I suggest these songs for a good mix of everything they can sound like: "Head Hits Concrete," "Ass Gravity," "Anything Jesus Does I Can Do Better," "Sever The Toes" and "We'll I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle"
Also I suggest their album "Safety Second, Body Last." It's only two tracks but they set the music up in movements, so there's more than two "songs" you could say. It's only like ten minutes long, but the way they create space between the actual songs is masterfully done. It's probably the most innovative, creative and interesting "extreme" music that's been put out.
Oh and I have to say it, Joey Karam is an astounding keyboardist.

So the other day I said that Fred Schneider (the lead singer of The B-52's) should be the lead singer for EVERY band EVER. Could you imagine how funny this would be?!?! Oh my God! Pick a song, any song! It's hilarious. Think of him singing something like "Don't Fear The Reaper" Good lord, I'd die from laughter! The theme from Titanic. "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent. "Genie In A Bottle" by Filthy McChristina. This is a great idea. VH1 needs to make a show where it's just Fred singing songs that fans pick via online votes. There is NO WAY I'd ever miss an episode of that.

I'm going to assume that everyone knows what "The Grey Album" is. But how many people know about Q-Unit? It's this guy or group that's named The Silence Xperiment. What it is is a mix of 50 Cent's greatest hits with Queen's greatest hits. Yeah...
It's head and shoulders better than "The Grey Album." "Wanksta" mixed with "Bohemian Rhapsody?" That's fucking genius. Go get it, or at least look at the photoshoped picture of 50 Cent with a Freddy Mercury mustashe: http://www.q-unit.net/
It seems like it's FINALLY getting some play, which is very very well deserved. The Music Jerk and his boys have been partying to this album for quite a very long time now...

So apparently Greg Graffin (the lead singer of Bad Religion) is going to put out another solo album. This is surprising to me and I am almost completely sure that I am the only person in the world to purchase his first one...
It's not that the first one was bad, it's just that it was complete adult contemporary pop/rock, which is a huge departure from everything he's done with Bad Religion. I hope this album does well and gets some kids to buy the first one, which has a couple good tracks including a cover of Bad Religion's "Cease" done with only a piano and Graffin's vocals, it'll give you chills.

So many people know that the Music Jerk has love for pop music and that he is a fan of all of Hilary Duff's singles. So while flipping channels he decided to watch her show on The Disney Channel. First off she doesn't do the song at the opening credits, does that seem strange to anyone else? But that's not the funniest part, the episode I saw they were at some kind of fake murder mystery party and as she was searching for clues bad pseudo-mid 90s dance music came on with a guy who was trying waaaaaay too hard to sound cool singing, "Ooooooooooooooooh, searching for clues!!" over and over again. I'm being completely serious. It's okay, I wouldn't believe it either.

I was going to say something about an old Tony Yayo freestyle but that just doesn't seem right after talking about Hilary Duff/Lizzie McGuire.

Tarot Borelo is a great great band.